only in dreams.

Heidi Klum is watching you sleep.

So I had the following dream last night right before I woke up. It’s still pretty vivid in my head.

Jackie’s friend PJ lives in the area and is sort of an SCA nut. For some reason, in the dream, she owned a small hole-in-the-wall cafe, and ran a wiccan group out of there (she’s not wiccan in reality). One day she was throwing a party and her wiccan friends were there. One of them looked familiar and I knew she was a model- So I looked up her name on the coven’s website and saw it said ‘Heidi’. I then knew it was Heidi Klum.

So we start casually talking and I get this idea. I sorta grin and ask her, “How warped are you?” She asks why, and I explain my idea. She agrees with my plan because she agrees it would be funny.

24 hours later I have a picture of Ian sleeping in his crib with Heidi Klum staring through the bars with a focused/hungry/disturbed look on her face, and I caption it “Heidi Klum is watching you sleep.”

I put the picture in Ian’s baby book and everyone is looking at me like I’m insane. My reasoning is this: when he’s 20 and in college, he’ll wanna show that to all his friends because GODDAMN that’s cool.

So Heidi, if you happen to stumble across this and would like to help me, I still want to do this, because, damn, it would be cool. Self-mockery is a way of showing people you do have a sense of humor.

And honestly, if any supermodels are reading this, it doesn’t have to be Heidi Klum- it could be any other hot, well known supermodel.


Whew, it’s been a busy year. Back in 2005 I wrote a list of things I’d like to do eventually that I’d be able to do if I had the time and resources that winning the lotto would provide. I’ve made a positive step towards realizing a couple of those.


The big change this year was the addition of Ian. We didn’t get off too well in the beginning, but we’re doing pretty good now. He’s just now to the point where he’s taking his first steps. He’s a smart kid, very inquisitive, but stubborn. Within a few years he’ll be learning how to read and write- I’m guessing it won’t be long until I’m teaching him how to program. He’s got an eye for any type of electronics, but goes nutty for my blackberry or laptop. Yeah, he’s a geek in training.

Jackie’s been doing fairly well, all things considered. She’s been staying home with Ian rather than going back to work, and it’s driving her a little stir crazy. To help ease the cabin fever, she got a laptop for christmas- Ian wasn’t letting her stay in the office, so now she has a way to keep in contact with people from the living room.


This was the year of the wedding… Brad and Erin, Jordan and Beth, Matt and Carrie, William and Charleen, Jackie’s friend Joslyn, Jackie’s sister Lori, and Paul and Kristen. I only made it to 4 of the weddings, but I was standing up in two of them. The ones we went to were all in Grand Rapids, so we had the joy of driving back and forth 155 miles each way, with the added bonus of dropping Ian off somewhere along the way


Work started off pretty rough. I have a habit of reflecting the attitudes of those around me, and my supervisor at the beginning of the year was pretty negative. That coupled with Ian’s birth and all the associated expenses turned me into a pretty miserable person. Fortunately the supervisor left and was replaced with a cautious optimist. Things got better- so much so that I just passed the 1 year mark at my current place and still find it interesting and entertaining.


I’ve played with many new technologies this year- Jboss, Netscaler and CentOS being the three foremost. I’ve dug back into ruby with a couple of new projects, as well as LDAP and a plethora of new utilities. I even picked up a bit of python. This trend doesn’t look like it’s gonna let up, so the job should be exciting and interesting for some time to come.


This year saw me move away from music and go back towards software (although I have been playing harmonica in the car at stoplights on the way to work). I joined the Luma team as head cheerleader and started the QT4 branch. After becoming frustrated with the python, qt3->qt4 transition and the codebase in general, I started an unofficial sister project, Ruma. I still sit in the Luma channel and help when I can, but I’m gonna sit back and wait until we’re ready for QT4- hopefully we’ll scrap the entire codebase and start fresh.

Right now I have two other developers “working” for me on Ruma, Lars and Hiro. They’ve put a lot of effort into bringing this bad boy to life, and I’m thankful I’ve had their help. For those of you not aware, Luma and Ruma are LDAP administration tools. As a System Administrator, I use LDAP a lot, so having specialized tools can be helpful.

Another project I started this year was competing in National Novel Writing Month. I finished the rough draft for my first book, Sinblade, a week early. It’s only 150 pages or so, but not a bad start all things considered. Jackie’s (sorta) working on revising it, and once she’s done I’ll open it up for others to start giving me feedback. I’m excited and nervous about it. If it takes off and people like it, I have 6 or so more books that I’m interested in writing.

The money situation is still pretty tight, but it’s getting better. Hopefully next year will be as much of an improvement over this year as this was over last year.

Bad Dream

Had another weird dream. There was more to the dream, but the last 30 seconds of it overshadowed the rest. some parts were spilled along a highway and jackie and I were cleaning them up (was a large project, 20 other people doing this too) and I decide to grab onto the back of the car while jackie drives to the next part.

But she doesn’t slow down. She keeps going faster and faster, thinking it’s funny, and I start yelling at her to slow down. at this point she’s doing 60 mph. I just hear her giggling. The next thing I know I’m clutching onto the sides of the roof of the car screaming at her to slow down, my chest pounding, and she’s doing 127 mph and I’m starting to slip off. I know I’m about to die.

I wake up with my chest pounding at 6:05 am. My chest actually hurts, and it’s hard to breath, but I’m wide awake and sit up. I’ve had dreams like this before, and I’m convinced this is how I’m going to die- I’ll be 60 years old and have a vivid dream and have a heart-attack.

six-armed baby

I have some weird dreams, but last nights was probably the worst in a long while. If anyone has a family history of stillbirthed 6-armed babies, I have a message for you.

If I won the lotto

a couple of weeks ago the lotto hit $200 million, and I bought my annual lotto ticket.

The lotto has a strange effect on people. It gives hope where there is none. Even I sat at a redlight imagining all of the wonderful things I could do with that amount of money. Of course erasing family debt, replacing vehicles, real honeymoon with jackie, etc was at the top of the list, but what would *I* do after that was said and done? I wouldn’t have to work. How would I spend my time?

I’ve put a lot of thought into it. I call it my interests list. I thought I’d share them here with all of you. I’m going to continue to expand it as ago throughout life and hopefully knock a few off of here.

  • Move to Grand Rapids, MI (DONE!) (UNDONE!)
  • Study Lingustics
  • Study Comparative religion
  • Study Geology
  • Study Anatomy
  • Build a marionette
  • Study Mathamatics
  • Study music theory
  • Learn piano
  • Learn drawing better
  • Study Metallurgy
  • Learn sword smithing
  • Study chemistry
  • Study physics
  • Study Electrical Engineering
  • Study animatronics
  • Learn c++
  • Study Millitary Strategy
  • Study Philosophy
  • Learn Tai Chi
  • Learn Jow Gar
  • Build a trebuchet
  • Learn to Paint better
  • Learn Latin
  • Lose 30 lbs
  • See Europe
  • See New Zealand
  • See Vancouver
  • Build a library
  • Write a Fantasy Book
  • Write a Fiction/horror Book (DONE!)
  • Write an autobiography
  • Learn to play Bass
  • Learn to Sing
  • Write and record a Concept CD
  • Write and record a Blues Rock CD
  • Write and record a Modern Rock CD
  • Learn Spanish
  • Learn Mandrin
  • Learn to play Harmonica
  • Learn Photography better
  • Develop a 2d top-down RPG
  • Develop a 2.5d side scrolling fighting game(Ogg I’m lookin at you)
  • Get my A+ Certification
  • Get my Linux+ Certification
  • Get my Security+ Certification
  • Get my Network+ Certification
  • Get my LPI-1 Certification
  • Learn to play the Harp
  • Learn to play the Violin
  • Publish series of books called Diff: admining X for Y admins
  • Learn to play Trumpet
  • Learn to play Clarinet
  • Study Architecture
  • Make cheese
  • Start an Open Source Project (DONE!)

One day I hope I get that chance.

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