This happened a month or 3 back and I forgot to post it. we enjoy harassing each other, and I felt the need to share this with the rest of the world…

in #asp:
08:26 < CoolGui> dude
08:26 < CoolGui> I’ve had a fever since saturday
08:26 < CoolGui> Now I have these stomach cramps that won’t go away
08:27 < CoolGui> And all the doctor did was tell me it was probably a virus and call him if I didn’t feel better in a couple of days. 🙁
08:27 < morgWork> remember, whatever doesn’t kill you may just make you blind and crazy.
08:27 < morgWork> i.e. it could be siphilus
08:28 < CoolGui> That’s what I wanted to hear. 😛
08:29 < CoolGui> Can you get syphilis without having sexual contact to an infected person?
08:29 < morgWork> yes
08:29 < morgWork> I’m pretty sure
08:30 < CoolGui> google sent me here
08:30 < CoolGui> http://www.cdc.gov/std/Syphilis/STDFact-Syphilis.htm#WhatIs
08:30 < morgWork> you see the part about pustules?
08:36 < CoolGui> sounds nasty. I don’t think I have that.
08:37 < LanShark> dude
08:37 < LanShark> you jsut came back from europe
08:37 < LanShark> thats what you get
08:38 < CoolGui> I was fine over there
08:38 < LanShark> sure you were
08:38 < CoolGui> I think it was because I drank the water on the plane
08:38 < CoolGui> You know, the community water fountain
08:38 < LanShark> let me find the quote
08:38 < CoolGui> I’ve heard bad things about water on planes, now I’m starting to think it got me
08:39 < LanShark> [2006-08-18 15:51:18] <yojimbo |work> CoolGui: Looks like it’s your turn to get baked and wake up naked in an alley with a disease you can’t pronounce
08:39 < LanShark> hahahahahahahahaha
08:40 < CoolGui> haha.. yeah.. well I think it’s just a virus or bacteria or something
08:40 < CoolGui> Hopefully not a parasite
08:41 < CoolGui> I swear I think it came on in 6 hours or so though… so that eliminates most viruses that I know of… A lot of bacterial infections come on that quick though.
08:41 < CoolGui> Fuckin doctor didn’t feel the need to give me antibiotics though.
08:43 < CoolGui> hmm… Honestly it sounds like Staphylococcus aureus
08:43 < CoolGui> Doesn’t say drinking water there
08:43 < CoolGui> But it does have the short incubation period
08:44 < CoolGui> well it says that one usually only lasts up to 24 hours…. so probably not it
08:44 < CoolGui> could be salmonella though
08:44 < morgWork> CoolGui: make sure you’re not going blind…
08:45 < CoolGui> I can see okay
08:47 < morgWork> for now
08:50 < CoolGui> I have some antibiotics laying around I think I’m going to take them anyway
08:51 < morgWork> bad move slick
08:51 < CoolGui> don’t call me slick!
08:51 < morgWork> your syphilis will become resistant because you won’t take enough
08:51 < CoolGui> lol, it’s not syphilis
08:51 < morgWork> then you’ll have resistant syphilis.
08:53 < CoolGui> I have amoxocillin, penicillin and something else
09:00 < CoolGui> This stuff expired almost a year ago
09:01 < CoolGui> I have one digital thermometer that reports 101.2 and another that reports 99.9
09:01 < CoolGui> that’s a big fucking difference if you ask me
09:27 -!- alec_eso [~na@c-66-177-247-68.hsd1.fl.comcast.net] has joined #ASP
09:32 < morgWork> alec_eso: perhaps you can diagnose CoolGui
09:32 < morgWork> he was in amsterdam and now has a fever

I then message alec_eso
09:32 < morgWork > say it’s syphilis
and paste him the conversation up to this point

in #asp:
09:33 < alec_eso> that sounds like syphilis
09:33 -!- CooIGui [~CoolGui@cpe-24-167-19-99.houston.res.rr.com] has joined #ASP
09:34 < morgWork> CooIGui: damnit, you missed it
09:34 < CooIGui> sorry
09:34 < morgWork> CooIGui: please explain your sickness to dr alec_eso
09:35 < CooIGui> Had to reboot ye olde router
09:35 < morgWork> note that he is only a doctor of funk, not a medical doctor
09:35 < CooIGui> fever, headache, abdominal cramps, light sensitivity
09:35 < CooIGui> okay
09:35 < alec_eso> how long?
09:36 < CooIGui> 3 days
09:36 < CooIGui> well I’m on my 3rd day
09:36 < alec_eso> have you had any unprotected sex in the week prior?
09:37 < CooIGui> no
09:37 < alec_eso> have you used public toilets? unfamiliar toilets?
09:37 < CooIGui> yes
09:38 < alec_eso> where?
09:38 < alec_eso> any itching, swelling, painful urination? been going regularly?
09:38 < CooIGui> no
09:39 < CooIGui> er.. no and yes
09:39 < alec_eso> when you used those toilets, you use the paper covers?
09:40 < LanShark> hell no
09:40 < alec_eso> because if not it sounds like you have Capone’s Syndrome
09:41 -!- CoolGui [~CoolGui@coolgui.users.undernet.org] has quit [Read error: Operation timed out]

alec eso then messages me this:
09:41 <alec_eso> I told him Capone’s Syndrome
09:41 </alec_eso><alec_eso> (al capone died of syphilis in prison)
09:44 <morgwork> lol
09:44 </morgwork><morgwork> nice
09:46 <alec_eso> my next step is for me to get him to take a digital picture of his genitals so I can do a visual exam to rule in or out syphilis
09:47 <morgwork> lol

in #asp:
09:47 < alec_eso> well, I gotta go to class
09:48 < alec_eso> if he asks tell him I think it’s syphilis
09:48 < alec_eso> tell him to get a video camera and start documenting his life like michael keaton in my life because he won’t be around for his kids
09:49 < LanShark> wheres yojimbo, he gets the win if youre right
09:49 < morgWork> alec_eso: will do