It’s changing me…

I did something today that made me feel very crappy. Nothing really big, I just sorta stepped in front of people to get to the escalator- just sorta pushed my way forward. Why does this bother me? Here’s why.

When I first moved to DC, I noticed how rude people are- pushing shoving, cutting in line, not waiting their turn, generally being impatient, and treating those around them like crap in order to move on to their oh-so-important jobs of backstabbing, manuvering, and powerpoint presentations,.

My actions offended me not because they were heinous, but because I’ve come to the realization that people are not precious- there’s entirely too many of them here. They’re not people, they’re obstacles. They don’t have personalities and problems, they just get in my way. For all my gruff exterior, I still try to treat those around me decently. This was the first step in the opposite direction.

I don’t want to go this direction. I like helping total strangers; I like being nice to random people. It makes me feel better. I don’t want to treat people like moving garbage cans. I don’t want to become one of these assholes I shake my head at.

I need to get the fuck out of DC.